YOU SHOULD PAY ME TO WATCH YOU (OR BANDS KNOWN FOR BEING BAD IN CONCERT)

During my 40 years on earth, so far, I’ve seen probably 2,000 bands. Many of them have changed my life, leaving me with memories I still visit to this day. But, not every show or even every band can be life changing in a good way. Below we’ll be discussing five of the acts that I’ve sadly walked away from, wishing for something better than what I got. Do yourself a favor, don’t seek out any of these bands, you will not enjoy it. 

CAKE: When I was younger, I owned all the Cake records they had made during the 90’s. I didn’t stay a huge fan, but was still excited when I finally got the chance to see them at a one day festival at a boat launch in New Orleans. What the crowd in attendance actually got wasn’t anything special. To start, lead singer John McCrea is clearly upset that his band didn’t become the next big thing. He insulted the crowd in between every song, refused to play any of the songs people were actually there, and threatened to leave, before then leaving without singing a single word of “I will Survive” as the band just grinned with the knowledge that their lead singer is a really shitty performer, and likely a shitty person. 

MARILYN MANSON: I was a huge fan of his back in the day, but frankly the years have not been kind to Manson. The music and light show were spot on, but his vocals and overall performance hung heavily to the wrong end of what you would want out of a performer. Misspoke lyrics, false starts and literal silence plagued the set. During the set, Manson began the chant that was supposed to lead into “mObscene,” but then the stage went black and quiet for minutes, leaving the crowd either scratching their heads or just leaving. Manson ultimately won’t be remembered for the types of set he became legendary for in his early days.  Instead, as you might know, the dude is accused of being an abusive rapist, so at least he’ll be remembered for a shitty life and as a shitty performer. 
 
MGMT: When you listen to an MGMT album, your senses are pushed as you try to dissect the vital pop instrumentations of Andrew VanWyngarden and Ben Goldwasser. Live though, the band is utterly uninspiring. It’s clear to me, the handful of times I’ve seen them live (mostly at festivals) has been deeply disappointing in how the music translates from record to stage. They just aren’t into, oftentimes showing that disinterest by not addressing the audience, ever, or by simply not moving. Worse still, one show they didn’t turn to face the audience.  Of those five attended shows, one has been awesome for me. Listen to the band, buy their records and merch, but we warned, you never know what you may get. 


THREE 6 MAFIA: This was probably 2001, 2002 when this happened, but it’s the single worst concert I’ve ever seen. I went with an old friend Rick, who loved the band and had never seen them. Let’s hit the bullet point though, because this show was fucking horrendous. One, four opening acts were all done 90 minutes into the show, with each artist roughly playing 15 minute sets, and then nothing, for nearly two more hours. When the 3-6 mafia did come out, the excitement built and quickly died as it became clear that only 3 members of the group were there.  Also, this headlining set was less than 30 minutes, and probably 4 songs. It was easily the worst show I ever paid for. In 2001, it cost roughly forty bucks. 

TRAVIS SCOTT: I was first introduced to Scott at Bonnaroo, I forget what year, but even just seeing that show made me worry for his safety. To start, the show just wasn’t anything special. The mix was bad, and the repeated antagonistic behavior from Scott to the crowd only provided proof of how much he liked seeing things go out of control. These days, we all know him as the guy who stood on stage advocating for more violence as ten fans died, while countless more were injured. If you need more reason to think less of Scott, I don’t really know how to sell you more. Sadly in the world of music, there’s never been a person who stood as their own fans were trampled to death. Going to a Travis Scott show sadly means you might get what you paid for, because his on stage antics are nothing short of hoping for violence and injury. 

Thanks for reading.